30 More Days... Day 11

1Sam. 1:10 And she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed to the LORD and wept in anguish.
1Sam. 1:11 Then she made a vow and said, “O LORD of hosts, if You will indeed look on the affliction of Your maidservant and remember me, and not forget Your maidservant, but will give Your maidservant a male child, then I will give him to the LORD all the days of his life, and no razor shall come upon his head.”
1Sam. 1:12 And it happened, as she continued praying before the LORD, that Eli watched her mouth.
1Sam. 1:13 Now Hannah spoke in her heart; only her lips moved, but her voice was not heard. Therefore Eli thought she was drunk.

Has there ever been something that you really wanted? Has there ever been a pain in your heart, a grief that just wouldn’t be soothed? You look around you and you know that you are so blessed. You have more than many, and at least as much as most. You know that you are blessed, yet there is still something you desire above all of that? This was Hannah and this is often us as well.

Hannah was a lucky woman. She was blessed. She had a loving husband. She had plenty of everything she needed and more. She was able to give to the Lord the “best” sacrifices and enjoy the time of sacrifice and feast before the Lord with abundance. Yet, God has kept Hannah from having children and this was a terrible sore spot for her. It was also used by others to destroy her praise and thankfulness. Fortunately, she also had those that encouraged her to remember God’s blessings and to take joy in her God.

So, the war raged within her. On the one hand she has a deep desire that goes unsatisfied, and those that hurt her with it. On the other hand she is conscious of God’s blessings and loves Him. She is full of sadness and praise. She is full, yet she is empty. The constant struggle wears at her heart and at her spirit. She recognizes all the goodness of God in theory and yet is full of grief in heart. God allows her to wrestle with that grief. He allows her to explore it and finally to bring it before Him.

Hannah prays in her grief. She is so overcome with it. It goes to the very depths of her being. It consumes her, and she will cry out until she is heard. She calls out to God.

Again we often look at this passage and as we see her prayer, we might be tempted to think of it as her “making a deal” with God. How often have people testified that when they came to the end of themselves that they cried out to God making Him a promise if He would just answer them. I don’t really think, though, that Hannah is making a deal with God, nor do I think that God is into making deals with us. I do think that God uses such situations to reveal Himself to us and to take us beyond ourselves. He knows that first He must get us past ourselves and then He is able to take us to a place where we are not only blessed, but even more, are able to be a blessing.

Hannah might have been praying for herself, at least, that is what she might have had in immediate view. What she didn’t realize is that God used that desire to have her pray not only for herself, but also for her people. This is not about making deals. It is about God’s concern for Hannah and His concern for a larger group as well. He will bless both. He has brought her to a place where she is now ready, not to seek only for herself, but also, that in that desire, God would be glorified. Before, her intentions in having a child were good I am sure. She would have loved the child no doubt. She would have reared it in a Godly manner. She would have taught the child God’s word. She was, after all, a worshipper. However, the child still would have been hers. Now, she has come to the place where she totally relinquishes all claim to him. She makes a prayer of total dedication. She holds nothing back. In doing so, she prays not only for blessing for herself, but (not realizing it) a great blessing on her people. God will grant her request and she will have great joy in her heart. She will realize her desire.

She will also have the blessing of seeing God grant more than she asked or thought. That is what happens when we relinquish our desires to God. He might fulfill that desire, but later when we look back we see that a desire relinquished to Him gives benefits that we never anticipated. God is greater than our hearts. He has more in mind than just fulfilling the desire of one. He wants that one to be concerned with things beyond themselves. Through this child, God would bless and lead the nation. Prophecy, the Word of the Lord, would once more be heard after years of silence. God would speak to His people and bring them back to Himself.

There was one more step though. There was the prayer. There was the brokenness. However, there also needed to be the follow through. Hannah had made a promise. You have to wonder though if she ever considered not fulfilling it. There does seem to be a bit of hesitation on her part. God has granted her desire. Will she hold on to “her” Samuel or will she truly lend him to the Lord? She has prayed. Now she must follow through. How it must have wrenched her heart to give up this long awaited desire to serve in the tabernacle so far from home. But in giving him to the Lord not only was she blessed but all Israel.

There is nothing wrong with praying for our own desires. There is nothing wrong with bringing the grief and sorrow of our heart to God. He waits for us to do so, and often He takes it and turns it into more than we intended. When we come broken before Him He can turn our sorrow into dancing. He can turn our mourning into laughing. More than than, He can do more than we asked or thought and let the desire and sacrifice of our heart be a blessing to many.

Prayer Request
*Olya has been trying to start a “mommy’s group” for mothers and small children for English development. There is a good bit of interest and she has gotten together with a couple of the moms several times but something seems to get in the way of it being regular. Please pray for this group that she would be able to start it again this October and meet regularly. That the group would foster good relationships and open up opportunities to share the gospel. That Olya would have wisdom to know how to organize the group that it would be useful and meaningful for those who attend. That Olya would have wisdom to know how to teach English to very young children in a way that is fun and useful, as she is used to teaching adults.